monochrome inc

Wordpress

2008-04-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

ok fine. due to the increasing controversies of my posts i have moved to http://coathanger.wordpress.com/ yay. its not like anyone reads this anyway

SIGH.

2008-03-28T07:23:00.002-07:00

Sigh… 60th… whats happening??? I notice that a lot of work done for 60th by certain people have gone seemingly unnoticed. Though to most these contributions may not seem like much, a lot of effort and time has been put into them, so it’s no wonder how these underappreciated background workers feel so unmotivated and well, unappreciated. Its like as Darius said. I do so much for the Company, but no one seems to care. Its just so.. yknow. Im not sure how to say this. It’s a really thankless job, such that the person loses all enthusiasm and genuinely felt concern for the job/company, and ends up doing his job purely out of fulfilling basic duty. It’s a vicious cycle, now I understand why previous csms like binglong and geoff just left after fulfilling their terms of duty.

Its quite true.

But I have to say from my point of view, where I can see how everyone works, what they do etc, darius isn’t the only one. I know Kevin (Kwek), for a fact has been struggling with BB week, mainly cos hes alone with the job. I see all these things, and I myself feel unmotivated. Im unsure of whether coming back to help will even well. HELP. I know that if I choose to go for primership, it will be a really thankless job. But its not about the recognition… its more of whether my prescence can actually turn the company’s direction around… for the better. I just don’t know anymore.

And to all those out there who feel unappreciated, unnoticed, your contributions uncared for, I KNOW. And I appreciate all that :) (you may think I really don’t, but trust me. I DO.)

BB

2008-03-18T06:08:00.000-07:00

weeell. this thursday is community day. a day to commerate 185 years of RI-ness, a day to give back to the community. for 3 measely hours. honestly, even though i've heard all the "even though they may forget what we have done for them, we will at least give them that 3 hours of happinness.", i really think that not much impact will come from this much anticipated day of service. i mean, yes its all good and cool, mobilizing an entire school to go out and serve the community, but only for 3 hours? its just a token act.

Moreover, i have been quite disappointed in BB lately. i have to say for one, that i myself am at fault too. firstly, the sec 4 batch.. well. i wouldn't call it a batch. every commitee is working towards their own goals, not communicating, unsure of what the others are doing. most of us are like, oh i've done my part le don't bug me. and some of us aren't even fulfilling our duties. take this comm day for example. the organization was so screwed, and now it seems only guodong, and linus, who had to step in, are like saikanging everything. CIP ppl leh??? for this reason i have decided to join HML on comm day.. even though the number of participating members are small, and our impact not as large, i feel that we have done a better job at organization, and that the mural we are painting will be a much more lasting impact than the three hours that BB will give to the homes. also, i feel i can do more with HML, and that HML needs me more than BB does.
back to the point on our batch not being a batch, i also realise that our batch is split mainly into two large groups, the enthu, the not so enthu. of course there are middle men like me. but what is disappointing is that no one seems to be making an effort to unite the batch. even during outings and stuff, (e.g. that lunch before march camp), one table with all the enthu ppl, one for the "ponners". no mingling. and i was like wtf. i know i shouldn't say all this if i, myself, am not doing much to address this, but this is something i feel quite strongly about, and i have tried to talk to some people, but nothing seems to have been done.

Another thing about BB i feel rather pissed about, is the boys' attitudes towards service. although i do see a handful of boys who are genuinely interested in
helping others, i realise that a large portion of them are not taking it seriously. take yesterday
for example. when we were supposed to fill in the mahjong paper with our goals, how service is
related to BB and stuff. yes we may seem to have the model answers, but do the boys really feel
that way? i notice that most of them are just throwing in what they deem "politically correct" to get it over and done with. is this the kind of attitude we really want to see when they go out to do CIP? i mean stuff like "we must bring ourselves down to their level" really shows how they view these people, as inferior, lower than us. i must disagree with Ms Tang though. they are not different. they are special, but no less than any one of us. i think from their POV, they would rather us see them as equals. if you were them, would you not feel the same way? i once read a story, about a basketball team who were playing a match against a team from a handicapped school. the opposing team consisted of players whom were all wheelchair-bound. in order not to "bully" them, the coach told the team to play leniently, which they did. but then the opposing team suddenly became very hostile in their gameplay, often mocking the boys, calling them sissies and such. the boys, unable to take it, decided to teach them a lesson, and played hard, disobeying their coach. in the end, the boys beat the opposing team, and at the prize giving ceremony, the captain of the opposing team said this to the boys: thanks for that great game. you were the first team we played
who gave us their best, who treated us as equals, and not like some little kids who can't handle the
game.
i just hope that this experience will change the boys, as well as their mindset towards service. (but i won't be there to see if it
happens. bah D:<)

GREENWAVE!

2008-03-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

yea so um. first draft!

Useful

2008-03-14T05:39:00.000-07:00

i think this comic really says something about how we often take some things/one for granted.. and we don't realise it until they're gone.. T.T
its so small.. go here http://mrcrapinson.deviantart.com/art/Useful-75073301
yes i cried while reading it.. so WHAT.
will post on march camp when i feel like it..

Amazing Grace

2008-03-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

Amazing Grace. Many times we hear this hymn, at funerals and ceremonies and such, but how often do people stop to think about the history behind it, as well as its original intended meaning?

Today during LCM day (which is library club member’s day for you. I AM proud of being a librarian, and I did not join because of my mother, but rather as a form of service to the school and its community so to all of you out there who laugh at me… I’m not a nerd just cause I’m a librarian :/), we were shown the movie “amazing grace”, and it really left a mark on me.

In the movie, the main character (based on an actual historical figure), William Wilberforce, faced a dilemma – whether to pursue religion, or politics. As one of his comrades aptly said, “we strongly suggest you do both.”

The problem he was trying to address at that time was the slave trade. (Though this may not seem much of problem in society now, there are still cases of human trafficking happening in present time, so in actual fact, slavery is far from banished.) But his mind was thinking about other things at that time as well… Like God and the praises his beautiful voice allows him to sing of Him. About the little marvels of the world… spider webs and stuff. But he had already established himself as a marvelous politician, and his best friend, William Pitt, who aspired to become prime minister, was pressurizing him to enter the world of politics once more, despite his many failed attempts to pass the bill abolishing the slave trade. His servant advised him: “planning to live a life of solitude? The saddest thing is not when no one knows a man, but when a man does not know himself”. Or something along those lines.

I think that… technically by serving man, we are also serving God, as we are the “sons” of God, it’s just whether or not we choose to accept him as our father. Another apt quote in the movie – if you make the world better in one way, is it not making the world better in every way?

The song was written by John Newton, a mentor to William Wilberforce, a man who used to be the captain of a slave ship, who repented and converted to Christianity, and wrote this hymn as a sort of confession.
“I live in this church together with 20,000 other souls. I wish I remembered all their names. They had beautiful African names, every single one of them, and yet we called them by grunts. We were apes, they were human”.

Quotable quotes:

John Newton: Although my memory's fading, I remember two things very clearly. I'm a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.

William Wilberforce: No matter how loud you shout, you will not drown out the voice of the people!
William Wilberforce: I want you to remember that smell... remember the Madagascar... remember, God made men equal.

John Newton: [reciting his song] "I once was blind but now I see". Didn't I write that?
William Wilberforce: Yes, you did.
John Newton: Now at last it's true. (a reference to his blindness)

Pitt the Younger: As your Prime Minister, I urge you caution
William Wilberforce: And as my friend?
Pitt the Younger: To hell with caution.

William Wilberforce: No one of our age has ever taken power.
Pitt the Younger: Which is why we're too young to realize certain things are impossible. Which is why we will do them anyway.

John Newton: God sometimes does His work with gentle drizzle, not storms. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Oloudaqh Equiano: Your life is a thread. It breaks, or it doesn't break.

Richard the Butler: You found God, sir?
William Wilberforce: I think He found me.

William Wilberforce: In my heart I want spider's webs!

Richard the Butler: Great changes are easier than small ones. Sir Francis Bacon. I don’t just dust yer books, sir.

William Wilberforce: You're dressing very simply these days.
John Newton: I'm a simple man.

William Wilberforce: I had heard your sight was fading.
John Newton: Well, now it's faded altogether. I never do things by halves. God decided I'd seen enough.

John Newton: [through tears] I'm weeping. I couldn't weep till I wrote this. (his confession)

William Wilberforce: It's only painful to talk about because we haven't changed anything.

William Wilberforce: You wake me up to give me medicine to help me sleep?

Damn I really need to put what I want to say down at the heat of the moment cos I FORGOT what I wanted to say! AARGH!

Anyway it’s a really good movie so.. WATCH IT. And William Wilberforce looks like Mr. Aguss hahaha.

Ah yes, I remember. I realize that to do great things, to enlargen one’s sphere of influence, one must first establish him/herself as capable. People I’ve seen who have brought about great change are often high in power, but never forgetting to return to the community, the very thing that gave them their position in the first place.

Lord Charles Fox: When people speak of great men, they think of men like Napoleon - men of violence. Rarely do they think of peaceful men. But contrast the reception they will receive when they return home from their battles. Napoleon will arrive in pomp and in power, a man who's achieved the very summit of earthly ambition. And yet his dreams will be haunted by the oppressions of war. William Wilberforce, however, will return to his family, lay his head on his pillow and remember: the slave trade is no more.

"Amazing Grace"

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call’d me here below,
Will be forever mine.

John Newton, Olney Hymns (London: W. Oliver, 1779)

To me, amazing grace refers to the Grace of God, and the hymn refers to how John had seen the light.

This also brings me to a point on humans, our lives and our value.
In Cambodia, a developing country, the handicapped are given little care, for the government deems them useless to the society. The mentality is that if you don’t produce any returns for the country, why should we provide for you?
Whereas in societies like the Aborigines in Australia, their culture cares for everyone, every life. Their belief is that no one, no matter how disabled, how small, how immobile, gets left behind.

Is it not ironic how the compassion and values we see in such backward societies, can be totally absent in developing/developed countries?
Sometimes I think that those societies have more to teach us than for us to teach them.

Religion.

2008-03-06T04:51:00.000-08:00

well first i have to say - not all religions are perfect. they each have their own strengths and flaws, and it is really up to us to decide which path to follow. religion, i feel, should also be more of a spiritual guidance than an obsession.

every religion has its flaws and contradictions.

in buddhism, buddha isn't a god, but rather "the enlightened one", who reached enlightenment through medition and the realization of the true unimportance of our materialistic needs. through meditating, he realised that what shapes us and harbours evil, is our lustful and gluttonous desires. as such, through meditation, he left all his desires behind. but truly is this the right way? to abandon all our earthly possesions? when buddha decided to go in search of enlightenment, he left his wife and children behind? is it not selfish of him to abandon his loved ones for personal enlightenment? and moreover, is the desire to rid oneself of all desires not the ultimate desire?

about christianity, the part i do not really like is the fact that if you choose not to believe, you will be sentenced to burn in hell. is it not ironic that religions, whose basis are faith and belief, would need something like this to "scare" people into believing. some christians in this case, would not be true christians. they would only follow this religion due to fear of the unknown, the lack of knowledge of what comes after life. they would not truly be christians because of fait, but rather fear.
comparing a person who goes to church regularly but without sincerity, and a person who doesn't but prays from his heart, who is truly more faithful? we should show our religiousness not only through our actions, but really through faith.

a story my father told me:

there was once a very faithful black man, who wanted to attend church. however, as he attempted to enter, he found a large sign on the door that decreed :"no blacks and dogs allowed".
the man went back home disappointed, and prayed to god, questioning: "oh heavenly father, why is it that i am not allowed to show my faith for you? should it not be based on faith, rather than colour? why is it that my fellow believers do not allow me into your sacred home?"

to this, a loud voice boomed: "do not worry my son, the truth is, even i cannot enter that church!"

after all, the greatest temple is in the heart.

Servant Leadership

2008-03-05T04:36:00.000-08:00

i had a discussion with my father today, which i found to be very fruitful in answering many questions i had.

Servant leadership.
the true measure of a man is not the number of servants he has, but the number of people he serves. - Arnold Glasgow this can be seen in
many situations. Jesus himself can be considered a servant leader. after all how many people would be willing to kiss the feet of a sinner?
a story i once heard: there was once a group of mountaineers, who decided to scale the toughest mountain in the world. brought along with them was a servant (said to be a messenger from God), who did everything for them, from preperation of food to checking safety of equipment. but one
day, this servant mysteriously disappeared. it was only then that the mountaineers realised that true leadership is through the serving of others.
i think many a time we tend to generalize the concept and meaning of leadership.
even osama and hitler can be considered great leaders in that sense. it must take a crazy amount
of charisma to convince others do die for your cause. mobilizing the entire of germany into a world war is no small feat either. even Qin shi huang (i think thats him), who even though ruled with an iron fist, made many large contributions to ancient china. but ultimately, its your values that determine the leader you are.
i think many of us need to see that. we've lost sight of the true spirit of service..

a certain Robert K. Greenleaf, was once a very VERY successful and wealthy businessman. but after
a life changing experience while on a nature trip, he realised that "hey, why am i trying so hard to earn money? how about giving back to the community?"
".... the great leader is seen as servant first, and that simple fact is the key to his greatness.

The servant leader is servant first... It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead."

Robert K. Greenleaf
"The Servant as Leader"

A servant leader holds both organisational goals and people development in stewardship.

The servant leader serves the purpose and intentions of the organisation and/or team as well as the growth and development of the people being led.

Robert Greenleaf then quit his job in his large MNC, and set up a centre for servant leadership, aiming to educate others in this aspect and by doing so, being a servant leader himself.

"No one has learned the meaning of life until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellow men" - Beran Wolfe

"Service is the rent that we pay for our room on earth" - Lord Halifax

"to devote a portion of one's leisure to doing something for someone else is one of the highest forms of recreation" - Gerald B. Fitzgerald

"to give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity" - Donald A. Adams

"try to forget yourself in the service of others. for when we think too much of ourselves and our own interests, we easily become despondant. But when we work for others, our efforts return to bless us" - Sidney Powell

"WHEN A PERSON IS DOWN IN THE WORLD, AN OUNCE OF HELP IS BETTER THAN A POUND OF PREACHING." - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

Thought.

2008-03-04T04:04:00.000-08:00

Well about service...
people are generally very materialistic and selfish. its like, "oh, i want to earn big bucks to live in a big house, great car, good spouse and enjoy the rest of my life."
but um.. well what good is a life of luxury? you lived a happy life, you die a happy person, whoop de doo. well it hardly ever happens.
most of the time, people tend to only think about giving back to the world when they realise that their lives spent in an endless rat race to get ahead and earn big bucks is well, quite quite meaningless.
IMO, people who live their lives for others.. are a very rare race. i mean not only like to be charitable and stuff, but also how they put others before themselves, the responsibilities they take and uphold in everyday life. or maybe, most people are too scared to step forward to help, or give themselves excuses like they're too busy, or think themselves unable to make a difference.

reminds me of last year's trip to Cambodia. Mr Reuben is an example of a member of this minority group in society. he was willing to give up all that he had, a
comfortable life in urban singapore, to live with only basic needs in order so help a certain community.
i think its really respectable.

problem now is.. i find it hard to find like-minded people.. someone who shares the same ideals as me..

animals?

2008-03-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

just relating an incident that happened recently.

recently the neighbourhood cats have been pillaging. more than usual. someone had probably been feeding them (yes its a form of abuse). so they dig up plants, make holes in rubbish bags and stuff
so my dad and my neighbours got pissed. so thje neighbours passed my dad a cage to catch the cat so that they could cull it.

cos my grandma told me the cat was probably pregnant (since shes the one experienced in all this,) i closed the cage so nothing happened... we returned the cage but the neighbours were rather pissed that we didn't catch the culprit cat.

few days after i came home, to discover the cat sitting in one of the secluded flowerbeds in my house. surprisingly though, this time it did not run, but rather scowled and spat at me as i approached it. soon saw why. underneath its belly was a kitten, no larger than my correction tape (yes weird comparison). so we left it alone

however that night, when we were all milling about our own stuff, there was a loud clang sound. Curious as we were we went downstairs. turned out the neighbour's decided to set up the trap themselves, and they had caught the mother cat which had been out looking for food. the mother cat struggled in the cage for awhile. when it realised that there was no escape, it began to CRY, for its fate and for its baby's.

it was a rare sight, the cat crying. it was moaning loudly, and you could see watering in its eyes. i think at that moment my neighbours saw what they had failed to see before. this cat has feelings. it had a child. it wanted to provide for it. just like US.

just because we can, does it give us the right to kill animals we consider pests, just because they provide inconvinience in our lives? most of the time, there are only pests because we create the ideal conditions for them to thrive. do we kill them for a mistake we commit?

yess you may argue that animals in the wild kill other animals in the wild. its a natural process. the humans are at the top, so we should be able to kill anything we want.

WELL. i just have to say this. They do not have consiences. we DO.

(ps we let the cat go :))

Best Friends

2008-02-25T03:31:00.000-08:00

well after reading rach's post on best friends at http://withenoughsoap.blogspot.com/, (go read its worth it) i realised that i don't really have such a person in my life. maybe its just cos i have trust issues.. or that i have certain secrets/worries that i can never voice to someone who i know in school or my age.. yea so if i've been rather cranky and doubtful of you lately, sorry >.<.

yea so the best friend thing is technically my fault but.. yea i'm not very sure what to do.

Wishful Thinking

2008-02-25T03:21:00.000-08:00

hmm.. recently ive realised, erm, well more like come to terms with the reason for my angst. well i am not afraid to say that yes, its cos i've fallen for someone (for some time actually, which makes it worse). well thats natural isn't it. most people our age would have fallen for a or maybe more people of the opposite gender. well.

well of course like most sensible people (no offense to anyone out there), i feel that thinking about these things at this point in time in our lives is merely a distraction, but even though i try not to think about it, sometimes it just somehow forces its way into my head.. its natural right?

which brings back to the earlier posted thingy on wishful thinking.. what hurts the most is that we can never be, and even though i try not to think about her, i still do. (think its a phase..
hope to get through it soon.)

(i'm doing this as a ditched attempt to let it out so... :s )

Sandrawing

2008-02-24T07:44:00.001-08:00

well recently this year whenever i feel down i take a stroll to the beach to just think for awhile.
then i picked up sandrawing, which is actually quite fun, and allows me to kind of temporarily express myself. too lazy to upload all now (all kinda suck cos theyr so big that the angle which i have to take the photo makes em look squashed)... i drew todays' thingys with my brolly >:D

Mother

2008-02-23T21:59:00.000-08:00

my mom is awesome.
seriously.
stop sniggering you ri guys out there, i am aware that many of you think of her as the boring nag who shouts at you in the library and puts you to sleep during those long re lectures, and if you choose to detest her based on that or pity me for being her son, go on lol. see if we care.
i know my mother often feels unappreciated for all that she does for her sons (my bro and me). truth is, we (well i) do take not of this. just today, we she drove me out to popular in tampines just to let me select some assessment books despite her busy schedule, and i really appreciated it. really. she just thinks we don't, and well sometimes we just forget to remind her that we do. (meaning saying thanks).
though she may not seem to care much for my personal interest, but rather keeps bugging me about my academic results, i know this is because she worries more for my future than my present well being. i know how much she blames herself whenever i return with poor results, or whenever i falter.
all this time, she has been a main reason and influence in my passion and concern (don't laugh if you haven't seen this side of me) for the earth we live in, as well as its occupants (meaning us and other animals), and has often shown me the reality i have to face in real life (lol). she had always seen the kindness (seriously.don't laugh) in me, and tried to bring it out as much as possible. this has helped set my ambition to (for the present) study hard, and (for the future) establish myself and have (prefably) a high income, so as to not only provide for myself and my family, but also in order to give back to the community. as she said, "when you are young, you can aspire to do many great things. you may want to go out and help the world, the people. but if you can't get the means to even sustain yourself, how will you help others?"

so um.. even though its still a long way to mother's day, thanks mom, for all the years and sacrifices you have given, and more making my life much more meaningful.
who cares how others see you (or me, after this >.<)? i shall say something i haven't said in a long time, something often taken for granted: i love you mom. (so stop worrying that we will grow up and leave the coop and abandon you, cos that is so not going to happen. >:D)

did that make sense?

oh and i realise i meant to post this for quite sometime: behold! the little ri boy. lul. (yes that's a calculator)

RANT

2008-02-22T04:05:00.000-08:00

well um. quite alot of ranting to do today. decided to do it all at once to get em out of my system.

i do realise that the main reason for wanting to do well.. well, er, is for the sake of credentials. i mean in order to make a difference, one should first establish himself and his credibility right?and to help others you have to have the means to do so.. which requires my working hard so yea... (but i keep slacking anyway D:< dang.)

well apparently it is true that at one point in their lives, some teens tend to feel a little something for uh, the same gender. its like a phase, where you still like the opposite gender, and yet uh.. you look at some people of your gender differently from the others. i think its normal.. i hope. right? gah...

which leads me to another rant. don't you hate it when you wish you could do something or had
something, but knowing you can't (mostly cos society will mark you? no refference to previous paragraph) ? damn wishful thinking. it always hurts.

about contributing my life to giving (if its even possible in future. my ambition!). well lets say if i want to make use of my life to help others, well i will have to give up quite a number of things i would get in a normal life:

a comfortable living environment - well i do not think i can make much impact in Singapore, which means travel, which means being away from home, which means discomfort! not really a problem though.
income - if i devote my time to this, where do i get money for support? (and basic needs)
a love/social life - well of course since if i do this, theres no way i'm gonna settle down for long. i will be moving around alot, which means not much interaction with others, unless they are likeminded and willing to travel with me. also cos if i choose to get involved in a relationship and (possibly) start a family, yea well that will screw everything up won't it

well yea.

FEAR.
yes fear. is it bad or good? i don't know takes up a lot of space in our minds better spent on other things IMO, but sometimes it's what keeps us going. some people live life to be happy, others do it cos they fear death, or for example stay happy cos they fear the darkness in depression. people usually feel fear due to the their fear of the unknown. spirits, and deep waters are very common, as no one actually knows for sure what lurks withing those realms. the lack of knowledge in that sense makes us insecure and uneasy, possibly leading to the feeling of fear.
another kind of fear is derived from insecurities. such examples are like the fear of public speaking etc., where most people fear screwing up in front of a crowd.i myself suffer from this. but think about it this way. when you watch a speaker screw up, how long does it stay in your mind? (if he's not someone overly famous/important, like mr lee hsien loong and his humps) people do not really pay too much mind, but our mind blows it up, and ionno.. we are still scared i guess. not sure about that part.
however, i feel the worst kind of fear is the kind derived my guilt, not only in terms of the feeling, but because of the fact the this fear has to derive from you knowing/thinking you did something wrong. for example you don't do your assignment, and you realise its that subject's class next, and the teacher is a man-eating lion. well yea. good luck.

existence.
how do we know we exist? what determines our identity? can we just base our existence on the fact that our birth was documented?
well read a story some time ago. on 10th june 2004, a man was found dead in his pyjamas. he died in his bedroom. sounds normal eh?

well his body was nothing but a skeleton. next to him was a newspaper dated 20th feb 1984. the calender on the table nearby marked the same date.

he had been there for 20 years.

no one noticed his abscence.

this made me think about the man, and his utter and complete isolation from the world, such that for 20 long years, no one in the whole world had noticed he had simply vanished without a trace. in this i can only conclude that the only thing worse than hunger or thirst, worse than being unemployed, unhappy in love or defeated and in despair, is feeling/knowing that no one, absolutely know one, cares about us.

i should really treasure the love we have bestowed upon us, and give a silent prayer for that man who has shown me the importance of friendship.

(taken from "like the flowing river" by paul coelho)

food and life

2008-02-21T04:16:00.000-08:00

well i was talking to pizzat about the whole life and happiness thing
unfortunately his outlook was rather bleak. heres his reasoning:

there really isn't any point in anything we do in life. so why do it? even if we are able to help a person or a group of people, so what? so what if we make their lives better? they DIE anyway, and so do we.

well um. he acknowledges he thinks too much and too often for his own good. but really, we are given this one chance at life. do we make full use of it, to give back to society and to make use of what God has given us and to glorify Him, or do we just keep thinking about how pointless it will be. even though their lives are not forever, they only have one chance at it and its worth making it better. quoting from somewhere (not sure where): you only have one life. this is not a dress rehearsal; this is show-time.

moving on, i'm feeling hungry. damn i feel like ranting. should i eat bread, or something sinful like instant noodles? honestly to me, since we only have one life, why should we miss out on one of the best enjoyments our body can offer us (lol not sex O.o), our sense of taste? i feel we should be able to satisfy and er.. make our tastebuds happy :D. i mean its good to eat healthy, but at most it'll prolong
your life, and at what cost? we will miss out on great food (since most of em are oh so sinful). and
if we spend our lives abstaining from these food and fall ill anyway, well.. good job.

well im not sure.. so even though its good to eat certain food in moderation, i say why diet? we should be able to eat what we want!

damn i'm not sure if any of that made sense, but i'm going down to eat noodles. toodles.

The Meaning of Life?

2008-02-18T06:29:00.001-08:00

well did this for CLE, derived from a convo i had with a friend

To me, most people live in pursuit of happiness. But we study so hard, enduring stress, what we get in the end may be a good job with a high income, but the stress doesn’t disappear. What we get to enjoy is the retirement period (short as it may be) after a life of stress? Where does our happiness come in then???
‘Material happiness’, or happiness gained through material means (e.g. money) is just a temporary distraction from reality and the stress derived from it. We ‘happiness’ we feel is actually the uplifting effect when we forget about the stresses of life at that particular moment.
True happiness, I feel, is gained through giving. The warmth and knowledge that you’ve made a difference in someone’s life is the ultimate ‘high’ one can feel. It has been said that (in heroes LOL) no one can live a life of happiness and meaning at the same time. In order to live a life of happiness, one must abandon the past and forget the concerns for the future, whereas those who choose to live a life of meaning are cursed to live in the former and obsess about the latter. Though it is true that to live a life of meaning we have to face reality in the face all the time, the fact that you have made the world a better place to be in to someone else should be enough.

2008-02-11T05:58:00.001-08:00

long time no see
koped from rohan

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

BLUE

2008-01-01T05:06:00.000-08:00

BLUE. i played with the hair XD

LOL

2007-12-29T02:18:00.000-08:00

waspy again, mix of two styles, totally dif colouring

Waspy

2007-12-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

waspy (named Haachi now) redone. shit the right boot is screwed.

Chiefdit

2007-12-25T02:40:00.001-08:00

my friends chiefdit and the bug thing WIP that i'll probably never get down to finishing.

kiyoshi and gang.. again!

2007-12-23T03:16:00.000-08:00

omg its these 3 again! in new style!

OMG MAPLE

2007-12-22T02:02:00.000-08:00

yes so xmas round corner. and im drawing maple characters for ppl -_0

oh and omg theres a spider eating a flying ant on my comp monitor

LOL nursery rhymes

2007-12-14T19:27:00.000-08:00

hmm has anyone else realised? how SADISTIC nursery rhymes are. lets look at some e.g.s
- humpty dumpty - he DIES
- the tuffet spider one - wtf
- jack and jill - they roll down a hill.
- 3 blind mice
- the mouse clock thing
- rock a bye baby (i know this isn't a NURSERY RHYME but heck)
and so much more. gah. no wonder kids are such brats. hehe.

aniwae i inked.

- willow

BUG PEEPS

2007-12-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

YAY. a GROUP pic. wow messsy. ill probably colour tho.
BUG ppl!!! woot. hooray for anthros. i challenge anyone
who comes across this to guess what they all are. hahaha.

viewerships and rantings

2007-12-12T02:33:00.000-08:00

i figured since no one seems to be reading anymore, this will be my personal diary.

1. back from solo, indonesia. got nice fotos but too lazy to post. this brings me to my rant about slacking. slacking, i feel, is a well deserved break after hard work. however many things usually
crop up. things we do not want to do. such as going to solo. yup. see my time is split into slack and
study, no inbetween. and as such according to my parents, these chores that we do that are not
categorized under "study" then fall under slack. even though its not what we want to do. the time
spent "slacking" could then have been better spent letting me do what i want to do. rawr. and then
excuses such as "you've spent so much time in beijing and solo already, you should start studying and stop thinking about play" . blardy hell.

2. "best friends". well my friends and i don't seem to be talking on "good friend" terms anymore..
well its like now we're all like "hi. hi. um. well. uh." yea. wtf. i mean we should be talking more rite??? isn't that what good friends do??? feh. *points accusing finger at pizzat*

3. going veg. recently i've been thinking. quite abit. and this is my conclusion. humans are all cruel bastards. yup. i was at a seafood restaurant some time ago.. and personally feel that yknow those glass tanks wif all e fishies and lobsters and turtles and crabs? its really cruel. i mean what the hell theyr gonna get cut up and what. we let them watch what they're gonna be fed to? it really puts me off seeing their "sad" "desperate" faces staring at me. then i see people WATCHING the cruel act of killing and COOKING the turtle that they're gonna have for SOUP. and they are all delighted and clapping. GO TO HELL PEOPLE. wheres your compassion!!! totally feel like stabbiting everyone there. we hate animals for killing us (eg tigers and snakes). at this rate animals SHOULD wipe out our kind. NOW. everytime i go to restaurants as such now i feel like like pulling out a shotgun , freeing all e little critters and killing everyone. thats why im going veg.

BUGS. and more.

2007-11-30T01:28:00.002-08:00

ended up with all these during a doodle overdrive.
reaper dude for pizzat, a few bugs and random people.

2007-11-28T06:23:00.000-08:00

well, so willow redid the entire cast of my kiyoshi fic, and here it is. very well done i must say. awesome work!

^kiyoshi

^willow

^myra

^reina

^bug person i may or may not decide to implement

s'all for now,

-pizzat

Friends.. and trust.

2007-11-28T06:15:00.001-08:00

Friends.
Yupp.. friends. I hope I dun offend anyone with this post.. and yessss pizzat I started subscribing before you did XD. So. According to many ppl, (yes I’ve asked around. Even if it WAS about 6 ppl nia), their idea of a best friend, is someone that they know that they can always rely on in times of need, and to be able to confide in. well I DO have friends I can rely on.. but none that I can confide in. its quite ironic that the only person I can talk to doesn’t usually understand what I’m saying but that’s ok.. I think. I still feel weird. And it also sucks that when I try to make (erhem) friends, I end up getting daoed. A lot. So.. it always seems like other people would rather be talking to someone else.. and if they talk to me its like a last resort. I know there are exceptions to dis.. haha thx pizzat ct and Avalon.. but for reasons unknown to even myself I can’t bring myself to.. talk to you about stuff that I want to let out. This has been a very VERY selfish emo session, cos I know there are people out there that could be in much worse situations than I am (I have friends XD) so.. sorry. Just felt like ranting. Oh yes hi david.. if you’re reading this.

Balance..

2007-11-26T05:44:00.000-08:00

ok i did this while thinking. its obvious nothing is fair in life but.. they always say balance holds the universe in place... but if that was true.. ok im not sure how to put this so i'll leave it as such... thoughts welcome though.

2007-11-26T05:42:00.001-08:00

haiz i do realize dat we BOTH (erhem) have been verrry immature with our previous posts.. so since you've seen this crazy facade.. maybe this blog might be more useful if we like.. talked about our fics and certain filosofies we qn. i have absolutely no idea what what i said meant.

National Day!

2007-08-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

GAH. one day late!

can't believe it. i scanned in but forgot to post, sigh.

oh well, here's the comic.

i'll post a nicer one next time. no time now. gtg!

- pizzat

Comic 3: Kaboom!

2007-07-31T02:57:00.000-07:00

Of exploding heads... =)

Screaming ought to come with health warnings.

- pizzat

2007-07-30T05:11:00.000-07:00

hello people!
today i nearly got killed by a falling tree branch! yay!

but thats not the point.
the point is that we have been inactive!!! D: after only bout 2 posts! GASP! EGAD!
well its mainly due to the fact that the CTs are here and ive been banned from my comp and my scanner (this is my bros comp. shhhh) since forever. even though we do not have any comics to present to you (yet), we do have an account of stupid things that happened!

not much.

Scenario: before PE in da W.C (thats posh for toilet for all you unposh people!)

Chu Yong: eh jon ur armpit hair like bush liddat. (jon eyes him weirdly) no not George.
Meng Kiang: chu like u dun haf meh.
Chu: no.
WilloW: ewww ur a germinating seedling! you mushroom! D:
Chu: recent studies have proved that smart people have no armpit hair.
MK: no lar. all the smartness must come out somewhere, so they manifest as hair. (hey that rhymed! sorta
Jon: yay then im dam smart
MK: however, stupidity manifests as sweat.
Jon: eeee den im both smart and stupid.
WilloW: you mushroom! D:

Scenario: chinese class
So Choon Yee: 全班讲华语！
Danfer: 华语！
Yean pok: 华语！
WilloW: 华语！
Jon:华语！
Chu Yong: 华语！
Samuel: 华语！
Jun Rui: 华语！
Yishu: 华语！
Weemeng: 华语！
Kevin: 华语！

and i nearly got killed by a tree branch! :D well dats it for awile

-WilloW

DRILL CRAPNESS

2007-07-25T05:44:00.000-07:00

Lol chinese CTs DIE LIAO!!!! for both of us aniway. and AMC is fit for elementary school kids. lol but thats not the point!
ONWARD! to more cheerful and random crap!

lol for people who dont already know.. im in like.. BOYS BRIGADE LOL. during more fun parts where we get high for eg. after pipes and drums festival, we do stuff like bring our instruments down to the esplanade bay and blast the boats and the public.. doing stuff like that gets us a few good comments from passers-bys, spare change and lots of stares!

HOWEVER.. during the UN-Fun parts.. we do stuff like DRILL! YAY!
lol but sometimes even drill CAN be interesting!

lol first.. like 5 mins into marching.. my pants popped! HAHAHA!!!! lol we went on for 3 more mins till my pants fell. kidding. i was then given permission to change back into sch u! yay for slackness!! why im telling you bout my waist problems? i DONT KNOW hahah! weeeellll if it made u chuckle warmly on the inside.. i've tried my best to bring about senseless humour! waargh!

lol then our senior was trying to like, correct our horrible drill. and he was like, "eh the guys on the right must do a spot turn! like this! *demonstrates* Dun worry bout the guy behind hitting you! it doesnt hurt!

yea right. like 5 minutes later there was alot of whapping and ouchies.. which were prohibited during marching so we all got pumped. yay.

meanwhile the other senior taking the juniors was like.. "see what happens when you don't follow the primer's instructions? u end up getting a rainbow! *gestures to horrible hand posture and dressing* except this rainbow no colour so not nice to look at!"

when we were heading back to the junior block for fall out, one of the juniors tried to dash cross e road w/o watching for traffic.. which there was. and my senior was like "eh eh eh wait, dun die." LOL.

and aniwaes.. foundersmen are people who have attain this certain level of godlikeness in BB.. basically its the highest award. the FOUNDERS award. after fallout there was a meeting called for them.. but many of em tried to pon. so the guy in charge decided to grab everyone's attention by being lame. "eh foundersmen! dun make me go there and find all of you!" LOL

this prove that boring days aren't as bad after you look back on it. GOD im being all ... moral and stuff. AAAAGHH

Darius Pan. just here cos he wanted me to do this -_-.

Signing off
-WilloW

One-Shots: Dating In Stealth

2007-07-25T05:34:00.001-07:00

aniwaes.. ystd i was watching kinship on ch8 and they screwed up the subtitling! instead of saying "are you secretly dating?", they were like, "are you guys dating in stealth?" LOL i was laughing so i drew this. LOL.

- willow

Comic 2: Snowcone

2007-07-25T02:56:00.001-07:00

to forestall any more awesome comments such as:

"harmonie.du.soir said...: Cyanide and Happiness."
yes, it was inspired by cyanide and happiness. if not for cyanide and happiness, we might never have decided to do this.

now, just get over it ktang. seriously. -_-

Of Snowcones and Men.

Snowcones are basically cones with with frozen anything.

In the case of YELLOW snowcones of course... ahem.

- pizzat

Comic 1: Happy Birthday Yulin!

2007-07-24T03:47:00.001-07:00

happy bday yulin!

weird that this entire comic thing should start off with a bday wish. but meh. it works i guess.

stay tuned for more!

- pizzat